Shreveport, LA -- According to Doug Spivey, Senior Researcher at the non-partisan think tank Conservatives Are Pure Evil (CAPE), the 2024 US Presidential Election is going to be decided by which party does a better job motivating their base to come to the polls.
He was quoted in a report released yesterday that, with less than a week to go, "This election will come down to which side can get their people to show up and vote. It will be the dead vote vs. the garbage vote. It really is too close to call."
He explained further how the battle for electoral votes is starting to "resemble something from Fortnite" with "an army of the voting dead arrayed on one side of the conflict and franchised bags of rubbish on the other."
He further went on to claim that he was already working with video game companies to realize his vision of the epic conflict and hopes to have a playable demo out by Election Day. The working title is reportedly "Trash vs. Zombies."
Statistics: Posted by Panem Et Circenses — 10/31/2024, 10:13 am